Unrealistic Expectations: Disney Edition
Hey boys and dolls! How are you?
In the last few posts we talked about some serious stuff so I wanted to light up the mood a bit by doing something completely different.
If you have read my 50 Things About Me post, you know I’m a huge Disney fan so I must share with you some unrealistic expectations I had as a kid. I mean, it’s not like I had major expectations but still!
That’s not hard to see. In Disney movies even Mulan with a sward can pull off a mid-bob and look amazing. God damn, even Ariel who brushes her hair with a fork can have a great wavy bright red hair, and she’s on water for God’s sake! Me on the other hand can’t even brush my hair without a tangle teezer. And like this wasn’t enough, if I try to turn my hair bright red I’ll end up (at least 2 weeks later) with an orange-ish hair and then *holds respiration in fright* blonde.
Burst into singing is okay
In Disney movies characters always burst into singing like there’s nothing wrong with it. In fact, the whole town starts singing as well and in the end each and everyone returns to their lives like nothing even happened. However, if I ever burst singing in the city, people won’t sing with me and I’m pretty damn sure that those looks will soon enough be turned into a police call because there’s a lunatic singing around town.
Side note: I’m not okay with this!! I want to make a musical out of life! What’s wrong with people?!
Makeup is easily removed
Ha. Hahahaha. HAHAHAHA. NO, I’m TOTALLY FINE with this *cries in spanish and in every other languages*
Me taking out my makeup like that:
Getting ready is super easy
In Disney movies, for the princesses to be ready for a ball all they had to do was spin a little bit in the all magic stuff around them or, like Mulan, they would have a lot of people (including mom) to help her and give her a flawless eyeliner look. THIS IS ALL LIES! I take like an hour to get ready and all my mom does is telling me to hurry (okay she does me braids if I ask her to but sill!!)! STOP LYING TO US DAMN IT!!
Does this mean I’m not a real princess?
Toys are real
When I was little I had so much pity for my toys that I took as many as I could to bed with me (specially in the winter) so they would be warm. Soon as my mom found out, she gave me a blanket to cover my toys, but that wasn’t enough for me. ‘Till today I’m hoping to hear Little Bear (a bear that has been with me since I’m 2 years old) saying something to me. At the same time, thank God he doesn’t speak. The things he saw… Thank God he doesn’t speak.
And chores are fun!
If Snow White thought me anything it was that all it takes for a chore to be fun is singing. She was wrong. Chores aren’t fun. Chores are… chores!
Waiting until the woman of your dreams is unconscious then snogging her face off is a great idea
Hi ho, hi ho, and off to jail you go.
What about you? What unrealistic expectation did you have?
Psst : Find me on Snapchat, Instagram and Twitter with @ellaivoire