Being in love with two people at the same time
Hey guys and girls! Today’s post is going to be a little different. I’ve received an email from Cholé asking me for help, so I’ll try to help her out through this post. But before I start I need to do a little disclaimer: First, yes, I’ve asked Chloé if I could post the email she sent me and she agreed. And second, I’m writing this post without going through this myself. I’m that kind of person who falls hard for one person and just go “love-blind” all the way. Third, this will be a long post so grab a snack and a tea and relax while reading through! And if by any chance you want to talk to me you can either go to my social media like Twitter, Instagram or even Facebook or send me an email to email@example.com! I’m looking forward to listen from you.
So, now that I’ve said my little disclaimer, here we go:
“Hello Ella! Ever since I’ve read your first post 50 things about you, I think we’re very similar as I also love Harry Potter, Disney, have anxiety (it sucks!), and so on, so I’m asking you for help: I think I’m in love with two men at the same time. Is that even possible? Or am I just being a silly billy? One is my boyfriend of 3 years and the other is a classmate. We spend a lot of time talking even out of college. We have the same tastes and the same aspirations. What should I do? Should I just end my relationship and try this one instead? I think it’s unfair to my boyfriend who does not know anything about this guy and whom I love very much. Please help! Thanks for everything and keep your bubbly personality, you’re so funny! Love from a Parisian living in London XX
P.S. When will you start youtube?
Before I start to answer, thank you Chloé for reaching out to me in a time of need! 🙂 I’m starting YouTube really soon but you guys can start subscribing so you’ll be the first ones to know when I post! 🙂
Now down to the subject:
Being in love with two people is something that can happen when you least expect it. You’re with someone you love and in the place you least expect you meet someone one that makes you feel something that you shouldn’t feel, because you’re already in love with someone else.
That’s when everything you think you know starts to be questioned. You feel guilty as something inside you is going wild and it’s very confusing. You interact with this person on a daily basis and you feel yourself falling, hard. It’s an emotional roller-coast.
That line in infidelity may or may not be crossed. Or depending on how you look at it, you’ve already crossed it. When you sit down and get honest with yourself, you admit that you are in love with two people. It shouldn’t happen, and you can’t even understand how it did, but it did.
So, now what? Fist I have to highlight some points:
Is it really possible for me to love two people or am I just being a silly billy?
If you’re a human, and I’m assuming you are, then the answer is pretty simple: Yes, it is. Although is not a “common” thing, being in love with two people at the same time is possible, especially if you’re polyamorous. But even if you’re not polyamorous this can happen too. Being in love with someone (or having a crush on someone, whatever suits you better) is different of loving someone. You can totally have a crush without loving someone. It’s something that can be solely physical but usually it is something that mixes both things: a great physical attraction and a great psychological attraction as well.
Is it dangerous for me to be in love with someone else?
The feeling itself is not dangerous but your actions can be. You can’t choose to be in love with someone but you can choose what you’re doing about it. See where am I going here?
Then how do I choose?
That’s a tricky one. You have to follow your heart. I could go on a *Insert any women’s magazine here* vibe and have a flowchart helping you. I would love to do that, but unfortunately it would end up being something like this:
So the only actually piece of advice that I have to give is: overcome any lust you might have. If you’re in love with someone else maybe you’re lacking something on your current relationship. Perhaps something sexual? Choosing means you get to be honest about what you want in life and how a partner will fit into those plans. This second person might be a better fit for where you’re going in life but it all depends on what you are truly looking for.
In my opinion you must start by talking to your partner. If you feel that what you’re doing is unfair to him, then it probably is. Talk to him and share how you truly feel. Being honest is the best thing you can do to help your relationship. The next step might be for you to get your priorities straight. What do you want in life? Does your partner fit in the life you want to build for you? Are you missing something in the relationship? If so, what? Could you work it out? Do you even want to work it out?
I hope that this post has helped not only Chloé but also any of you that might be going through something similar.
Again, if you want to talk to me you can go over my Twitter, Instagram, Facebook or Snapchat (@ellaivoire on all of them) and DM me. You can also send me an email to firstname.lastname@example.org
See you guys next time,